Let’s just cut the shit for a minute and say it:...

Let’s just cut the shit for a minute and say it: electronic dance music is the stupidest music on the planet. It even has a fittingly dumb name, EDM, which makes me cringe every time I see it. More so than the acronym, though, the reason it sucks is because the amount of talent required to perform it is precisely none.

Case in point: Paris Hilton recently made her DJ debut in Brazil. She can’t give a competent on-screen blowjob—Christ, you just put it in your mouth and spin your head around like Linda Blair—but she sure can throw down Gotye remixes and Avicii tracks to big crowds. Hilton even pushed a few buttons and it looked like she knew what she was doing. The best part about the whole spectacle was how it showed that trotting out some attractive and vapid idiot with no qualifications to DJ, other than that they have a following, isn’t exclusively a Vancouver thing.

Michael Mann, the filmmaker, gets paid to make movies and TV shows that depict urban crime as being simultaneously slick and gritty, a balance that few others of his profession have landed, making him one of the best of his peers.

Michael Mann, the writer, not the same person nor presumably related to the filmmaker, makes persuasive arguments against EDM like the above. I’d like to ask him what qualifications are needed to DJ, if he thinks that no talent is necessary to perform said genre of music but like Linda Blair, my head is spinning reading this piece.